


It's a Hell of a Life

by lonelyphoenix85



Series: Positive Interference [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Pre-Slash, Season 5 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-13
Updated: 2012-07-13
Packaged: 2017-11-09 21:41:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/458748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lonelyphoenix85/pseuds/lonelyphoenix85
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam is in a bad place. Gabriel sees and decides to take action.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stalking Sam Winchester

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Fairy-tale bang on lj's 1upona-sabriel comm. Based loosely on the movie It's a Wonderful Life. 
> 
> Warning: mentions miscarriage (no, it's not an MPreg) and suicidal thoughts.
> 
> Art for this fic: [Awesome art by theblackrose16!](http://theblackrose16.wordpress.com/2012/07/13/its-a-hell-of-a-life/)
> 
> Disclaimer: I only wish I owned any of them, and I don't have an awesome Archangel around to grant my wishes *sigh*

Sam Winchester was a mess.

Oh, he'd been a mess for a while now - years, even - but recently...recently it had really started showing.

The way he flinched ever so slightly when Lucifer or the Apocalypse were mentioned. His guilt when Dean had described his unexpected temporal road-trip. His self-hatred...

His envy.

That hadn't gone unnoticed either - at least not by Gabriel.

~~~

_"Gabriel? The Archangel?" Sam asked in shock._

_"Guilty."_

_"Okay, Gabriel. How does an Archangel become a Trickster?"_

_"My own personal witness protection," Gabriel answered, eyes on Sam even though Dean had been the one to ask the question. "I skipped out of Heaven, had a face transplant...carved out my own little corner of the world. Until you two screwed it all up."_

_Dean looked unimpressed, but Sam...Sam's expression caught Gabriel's attention._

_"What did Daddy say when you ran off and joined the pagans?"_

_"Daddy doesn't say anything about anything."_

_"Then what happened? Why'd you ditch?"_

_He'd said *why*, but Gabriel had heard something else too._

_^^*How* did you get away from it all?^^_

_~~~_

Even as he'd begged Gabriel to help, Sam had envied him for finding a way out of the whole mess all those years ago, because Sam wanted a way out of it now.

Lonely, guilty, full of self-loathing and looking for a way out...it was a bad combination any day of the week.

All that, and with Lucifer on hand to keep offering a way - not ideal, but possible - for Sam to escape...? It was a _*really*_  fucking bad combination.

Would he be able to keep holding out?

Gabriel wasn't sure.

SPN

It had been the only logical solution, really.

One day, when Castiel was off looking for Dad, Gabriel had snuck into the motel room where the two Winchesters slept, and placed a Grace-ward on Sam.

If any of his brothers - other than Castiel...he'd written in an exception to avoid being notified every time his baby brother decided to stalk Dean - went near Sam, physically or otherwise (yes, he'd heard about Castiel's little dream-walking incident with Dean, and no, he did * _not_ * approve of the level of intimacy it implied between the reckless hunter and his youngest brother), he would know almost instantaneously.

Once he was done, he stepped back and admired his work - to him his mark shone plain as day, but sitting amidst Castiel's shielding runes on Sam's ribs it should be well hidden from those who weren't looking for it. The only one who might be able to see it easily was Castiel himself, and given his rather depressing lack of power these days Gabriel doubted he'd waste energy re-examining runes that were doing their job well enough.

Glancing over to the elder Winchester, Gabriel felt the overwhelming urge to do... _*something*_...anything, just to mess with him, just a little...but it was probably best if the brothers didn't know he'd visited, right?

With a huff of disappointment at his own restraint, Gabriel took off.

SPN

Gabriel cursed as something burned into his Grace sharply, causing him to drop the dog-beating piece of scum he'd been holding.

He sighed as the hellhounds in the pit below noticed the fresh meat - he'd only just started taunting the ass-hole, too. Talk about spoiling his fun!

Reaching to see what had startled him, Gabriel cursed again.

It was the Grace-ward - one of his brothers was near his hunter.

With a thought Gabriel was gone, the only sound remaining in the cave the ripping, crunching and growling of hell-hounds feasting happily.

SPN

He'd been expecting Zachariah, or maybe even Raphael...but then, he'd never been very lucky, had he?

Gabriel cursed - it was getting to be quite a habit whenever Winchesters were involved - when he saw Sam and Dean facing down  _*Lucifer*_ , with only a freaking  _ ****colt****_  for protection.

Oh, it was a mystical colt,  _*sure*_...had these dunderheads forgotten just  _ ****who****_ , exactly, they were facing?

There wasn't a chance in Hell, Heaven, or any of a million other realms that that thing was powerful enough to stop his big brother.

At least it could've been worse, Gabriel mused.

Lucifer wasn't actually trying to charm his way into Sam's skin for a change, after all.

Nope. Instead, he was just going to blow both brothers to shreds for having  _*shot him in the fricking head*_!

Did these humans have  _ ****no****_  sense of self-preservation?

Gabriel was on the verge of actually considering revealing himself and blowing nearly two thousand years of the best disappearing act  _*ever*_  to pull their asses out of his brother's homicidal path, when Castiel appeared suddenly behind them and an instant later all three of them were somewhere else.

With little more than a thought he obscured their trail so that his brother couldn't follow - either Castiel was getting sloppy, or he was falling faster than Gabriel had anticipated.

Shaking his head softly, Gabriel left. How in Dad's name had he gotten caught up in all of this again?

SPN

Anael had been the next to trip the ward.

She was self-righteous, she was cruel, she burned with hate and reeked of pride.

She'd chosen to fall, to live as human, and then had the gall to think she was entitled to go back? An Angel's power combined with human morals and self-importance - it was a dangerous combination.

Even with her Grace returned she was disconnected from her brethren still. Gabriel, for all that he had left, for all that he had hidden, was still connected where it counted. Even Castiel, falling fast, had something of that vital link remaining, and would right up until the last drop of Grace left him. The only Angels that shared Anael's disconnected state were those who had Fallen during the First War in Heaven.

He'd been so tempted to just squash her like a bug - he could've done it, easily, with less than a thought...

...except she'd gotten out of line, hadn't she? She wasn't a sheep, she wasn't just following Michael or Raphael or Zachariah's orders, wasn't trying to end the world...she was trying to stop the insanity. The phrase 'any port in a storm' sprung to mind...she might be dangerous, but as long as she was pointed at 'the other guys', and not him...

Well, he sort of respected all the trouble she was causing for his big brothers.

_*If only*_  she hadn't decided the best way to cause that trouble was by killing Sam, he might have stepped in to help her when Michael showed up.

SPN

Gabriel bent double in pain, his hot chocolate falling from his hand and landing with a crash on the tiled floor.

His Grace was on  _*fire*_.

He vaguely felt pressure on his left side, and thought distractedly that he must've fallen over...it wasn't important though, because every cell in his body burned as his Grace flared uncontrollably.

After a minute of huddled agony, Gabriel managed to dredge up the will to focus, to search through the pain and find its source.

It was the Grace-ward. Sam Winchester's Grace-ward.

Sam Winchester was currently surrounded by so much Grace, so much of the essence of the Angels that the ward's reaction had been damn-near nuclear!

Gabriel snapped down a seal over the ward, disconnecting it from him temporarily so that he could think for a minute, breathe again, get up and see what damage he'd done...

As his eyes fell on the ruined cafe, on the dead people all around him, he cursed whatever had set off the ward. He'd liked this place, these people...they hadn't deserved an end like this – hadn't deserved to be destroyed by the uncontrolled Grace of an Archangel.

Someone was going to pay for it.

SPN

Shot.

Sam Winchester had been shot  _*dead*_.

By two stupid, arrogant, foolish self-righteous hunters who thought they were, what,  _ ****better****_  than him?

Gabriel barely spared them a glance as they gaped dumbly at him. They were hunters - hadn't they ever seen someone appear out of thin air before? The fools didn't even register him as a potential threat.

They'd soon learn.

With a careless click of his fingers, the two living humans in the room disappeared.

Looking briefly over at Dean - Castiel would be  _*devastated*_  - Gabriel made his way over to Sam. Taking the dead man's hand he closed his eyes, and tried to track the hunter's soul.

What he found was simultaneously both very good and very bad (and completely explained the ward's...over-reaction - it had been millenia since he'd felt that much Grace energy at once, after all).

Sam was in Heaven.

The upside was that it meant Gabriel's  _*most*_  psychotic brother hadn't hi-jacked him, which had, admittedly, been Gabriel's first clear thought once the pain had receded.

It also meant that Sam was temporarily beyond Lucifer's reach, which was  _*never*_  going to be a bad thing.

The downside was that Sam was in  _*Heaven*_.

A place that Gabriel  _ ****really****_  didn't want to go.

A place that was laughably easy for Gabriel's  _*oldest*_  psychotic brother and all of his troops to access if they wanted to get hold of Sam, and break him down...Gabriel didn't doubt that in Heaven his oldest brother had the means to _*make*_  Sam say yes to Lucifer eventually, so that that he could have his showdown.

He settled into a chair near Sam's bed, watching over their bodies as he tracked Sam's soul through Heaven. If it became really necessary he would step in, but for now he'd see how things played out...

Joshua's sudden appearance had been a very welcome surprise - apparently not everyone Heaven-side had lost their marbles after all.

And even more surprising...apparently Dad wasn't as out of the game as everyone thought. He was just letting it play out as it would for now...

Gabriel smirked - he always had been his Father's son...

SPN

Gabriel had given up all illusions that he was  _*not*_  stalking Sam Winchester.

After the disaster with the ward a week ago Gabriel had decided to leave it capped off for now, and only rely on it again in an emergency.

Which meant that, for the last week, Gabriel had been quite literally stalking the younger Winchester - and by extension the oblivious and obviously in love with each other duo that was Dean and Castiel...seriously, how in Dad's name did Sam stand it? Gabriel was about ready to look them in a cupboard until they got a clue already, and he'd only had to watch it for a week.

Sam had far more will-power than people gave him credit for, holding out against the Devil and their love-struck brothers all at once!

The more he watched the brothers interact, the more worried Gabriel became - this was not the same Sam who had bitched and moaned at his brother when Gabriel had pranked them back when they'd first killed his Trickster alias. It wasn't the same heart-broken and damaged Sam who'd determinedly hunted him for six months to get his brother back when he'd been trying to teach him to be less dependent on Dean. It wasn't even the same Sam who'd challenged him and called him out in that warehouse a few months ago.

No, this Sam barely strung two words together.

This Sam didn't retaliate when his brother tried to provoke him.

This Sam feigned sleep until Dean wasn't watching and then went back to researching ways to stop Lucifer. He pushed food absently around his plate and struggled to keep down the few bites he actually did eat...

Something was very wrong with Sam Winchester, and judging by the growing worry in Dean's eyes, the other hunter had noticed despite his brother's efforts to keep him in the dark.

How long would it be, Gabriel wondered, before Dean's worry and frustration came to light?


	2. Be Careful What You Wish For

"That's it!"

Sam looked up from his computer, startled at Dean's sudden outburst.

They'd been researching in near silence now for a few hours - maybe the lack of results had finally gotten to him?

"I'm sick to death of the kicked puppy thing you've got going on over there Sammy - you need to get your head in the game dude! This isn't just some hunt, this is the freaking  _*Apocalypse*_!"

Dean had dropped his book to the floor and left his chair to stalk over to Sam as he spoke, stopping mere feet away with his hands swinging helplessly at his sides, fingers clenching and unclenching as though he wanted to hit something.

Sam drew back slightly, stopping just short of anything that could be considered an actual 'flinch'.

"You think I don't know that Dean?"

His voice was soft, carefully level. It was the best way to defuse one of Dean's rants - he'd figured it out when he was a teenager. Dean's anger and frustration generally rose or fell in proportion to the response he got...if Sam gave him nothing to bounce off of, he'd calm down quickly enough that they could talk it out.

He gritted his teeth, and spoke again quickly before Dean could respond.

"I know - believe me,  _*I know*_."

"Then act like it actually matters for a change! You've been moping like a girl for freaking months now - hell, since that whole thing with Anna you've been downright suicidal!"

He saw Dean wince even as he said it...said the word Sam felt like he'd been dancing around throwing at him for weeks now...

This time he couldn't stop himself - Sam flinched like he'd been struck.

And then he lashed out in return, self-control obliterated.

SPN

When Sam nearly flinched back from Dean at his approach, Gabriel was surprised - surely the kid didn't think his brother meant him any harm?

That Dean didn't even seem to notice the younger man's aborted movement said a lot about just  _*how*_  frustrated he was - and he hadn't even cottoned on to the full story as far as the deterioration of Sam's eating and sleeping habits were concerned.

"...suicidal!"

The second the word left the hunter's mouth Gabriel could see his regret, feel him mentally kicking himself.

The whole atmosphere changed at that one word.

This time Sam did flinch, and when he retaliated Gabriel saw the first spark of life that he'd seen in his eyes in months.

For now, anger outweighed the pain, the heart-ache, the  _*guilt*_.

Anger fuelled him and for the first time in months Sam moved like he had life in him again.

Pushing up from his chair he moved into Dean's personal space, almost forcing the older man to take a step back as he loomed above him.

"That's because she was right! You saw it Dean! You've seen what happens...I'm going to end the world, and it's like everything I try to do to stop it just makes things worse. I couldn't stop Lucifer rising - instead I made it happen. And it's the same now, everything I try to do to stop him gaining power is useless...I can't beat him Dean, don't you see?"

Sam was nearly begging now, hands gripping Dean's arms tightly.

"If I was dead...at least if I was dead everyone else might still have a chance!"

Dean was reeling.

Gabriel was pretty sure the only thing keeping him standing now was Sam's grip on his arms. If the kid let go, Dean would probably collapse like a puppet with its strings cut.

He had been expecting a denial, most likely. Had been expecting Sam to get mad and say of course he wasn't suicidal, don't be stupid, they were fighting to survive weren't they? He hadn't really believed it when he threw the word out there.

And then, as Gabriel watched, Dean took a breath and with it seemed to pull himself back together. The fight came back into his eyes and he shoved his brother back, breaking his hold and knocking him back into his chair.

"Bullshit! Christ, you think you dying would solve everything? Okay, so maybe in that future Zach sent me to you said yes..."

And what the holy heck? Since when did Zachariah have that kind of power? Oh wait, that's right, he  _*didn't*_. That little shit had been playing mind-games again...he was so going to regret that when Gabriel decided to show his hand.

"...but in that future we went our separate ways...that hasn't happened now, which means that everything else has changed too. You have to believe that Sammy! Whatever else has happened, that's never going to be your path...we won't let it!"

Gabriel considered speaking up - telling them what Zachariah had probably done and what he definitely had  _*not*_ done - but what were the chances that they'd believe him? They still didn't know which team he was on, after all.

Dean's angry words were heavy with desperation as he used them to fight the battle he'd spent all but four years of his life fighting with body and soul - the battle to keep safe the only thing in his hellish life that had ever truly mattered to him...his baby brother.

Gabriel watched silently as his the words added to Sam's pain and guilt, and did absolutely nothing to pull him from the edge he teetered upon.

Watched as Dean saw that they hadn't worked.

Watched as the hunter rallied, pulling back and forcing his emotions down...leashing them tightly before allowing a bitter laugh to escape.

"Besides, you heard Ash - that wasn't the first time we'd been up there. Hell, we should probably be getting frequent flyers miles or some shit! They're not planning on letting either of us spoil their fun and games by dying and staying that way Sammy...killing yourself wouldn't do anyone any good."

Where the pleas had failed, this bitter, cynical observation seemed to strike a chord in Sam, but rather than deflate, the hunter's anger rose to a fury as he leapt from his chair again, this time knocking Dean back several paces.

"Of course! I started the Apocalypse, but everyone else gets to die for it! Jo, Ellen, that whole town Lucifer raised Death in...it's all my fault, so it's only fair that I should live with it, right? I'm so sick of feeling guilty Dean! I get that I fucked up, really, I do! I get it! But I can't take  _*this*_  anymore - I can't eat, because every time I try all I can taste is the fucking blood! When I manage to force something down, more often than not it comes back up because all I see when I try to sleep are the faces of everyone I've killed, everyone who's died because of me. I feel like I'm going insane Dean...and there's no way out, because if I keep saying no, more people will die, and if I say yes, more people will die, and now I can't even just take myself out of the damn equation to save everyone either? I can't win! There's no way for me to win this, and I'm sick to  _*death*_  of it! I wish I'd never been born..."

Dean looked shell-shocked as he staggered backwards under the force of Sam's words, leaning against the wall for support.

Sam looked hollowed out, completely deflated at last, the fight gone from him. His last words were barely more than a whisper and yet they echoed through the room with far more weight than the angry words they followed.

As he moved to flee the room Gabriel made a decision.

Allowing himself to be seen at last, and trying not to frown at the total lack of response his appearance garnered, he grabbed Sam by the arm and before Dean could fully rouse himself from his shocked slump, smiled bitterly, raising his fingers to click as he spoke.

"Wish granted, kiddo."

SPN

"Gabriel? What the fuck? Where's Dean gone?"

Sam jerked his arm roughly away, and Gabriel loosened his hold so that the hunter wouldn't injure himself.

He watched as the kid's eyes darted around, as he tried to figure out what had happened.

"Where are we? Hell, why is there even a 'we'? What are you doing here?"

Gabriel could see signs of Sam's earlier anger returning, and since anything was better than the hollow, empty shell that had made the wish he figured it couldn't hurt to help him along a little - it's not like the hunter had a good impression of him that he could ruin after all...

Gabriel smirked bitterly.

Nope, Sam hated him, so why not poke the beast and see how much heart it had left to get pissed off?

"Why do you care kiddo? You'd rather not exist, right? No big brother, no surrogate father, no Apocalypse looming on the horizon...ask and you  _*shall*_  receive Sammy."

He watched as Sam looked in turns pissed, worried, happy (he would worry about that in a bit...damn but the kid had _*issues*_!) and confused, before finally settling back on pissed with a large side-helping of confused.

"What have you done?" Sam bit out slowly, "If you've hurt Dean or Bobby..."

^^Oh for crying out...!^^

That was all he heard? Nevermind the whole lack of existence thing, because Gabriel had mentioned Bobby and Deano?

Gabriel took a calming breath. Sometimes he honestly envied Castiel his choice of Winchester.

"I didn't touch them - in fact, I've never even met them. Not here."

And there was the anger again, building off the back of even more confusion.

Okay, so this was important, and serious business and he needed to fix Sammy to help stop the world from ending. But...

...Sasquatch-baiting was so much fun! The idiot looked downright adorable, all confuddled and pissed off...

"Make sense before I go and get the holy oil."

Wow. Okay, maybe slightly more pissed than confuddled then...

Gabriel sighed - that was probably his hint to get on with it.

"From where Sammy? Look around - you're not in Kansas anymore..." Gabriel paused. "Hmm...well actually, we  _*are*_ in Kansas...but we weren't before, so we're definitely a where that's else to any supply of holy oil you boys may have had to hand."

He watched as Sam puzzled through what he'd said, and then flicked his eyes to take in their surroundings properly. Now all he had to do was wait for the inevitable...

"What. Did. You. Do?"

"I. Granted. Your. Wish," Gabriel replied with equal pissy-ness, although his was affected (for the sole purpose of seeing if he could further provoke his hunter...so sue him! An Archangel deserved to enjoy his work, it was one of Gabriel's firmest beliefs). "You could try showing a little gratitude."

"...Wish...?"

Confusion finally became the dominant emotion on Sam's face, and his posture relaxed slightly as the fight went out of him.

Gabriel probed his mind lightly, and let out a dark chuckle at what he found. The kid genuinely didn't remember saying it - maybe there was some hope after all...? If he'd really meant it, really truly meant it, he wouldn't have forgotten so quickly, no matter what strange events followed. Perhaps it had been the heat of the moment...?

Even so, it was an idea, and ideas like that could fester if left alone. Which meant it was past time he got this show on the road.

"Let's hear it from the horse's mouth, shall we?"

Without waiting for a reply, Gabriel snapped his fingers.

Sam watched as an image of himself and Dean from only minutes before appeared in front of them, and Gabriel saw him bite back a grimace as the argument replayed.

The replay cut out just before Gabriel appeared, and the Archangel cut in before Sam could say anything.

"Congratulations Sammy - this  _*isn't*_  your life. You don't exist in this timeline. You'll never be born, never live, never die. You get to see  _*exactly*_  how fantastic the world would be without you in it."


	3. Without You...The World Still Turns

"...You get to see  _*exactly*_  how fantastic the world would be without you in it."

"But..."

Before Sam could get more than a single word out, the sound of a car door slamming around the corner captured his attention.

At the panicked cries that followed he didn't stop to think, his feet already moving before he'd even fully processed the sound consciously.

The sight that greeted him though...

He froze, feet rooted to the spot as he recognized first the Impala, and then  _*both*_  of his parents with a man who could only be - from Dean's descriptions - his grandfather.

Except that his grandfather had his father by the neck, and Mary was trying to stop him from hurting John...

A small voice in the back of his head decided it was entirely appropriate to pipe up that he knew their grandfather hadn't liked their dad, but this was a bit much, wasn't it? It quickly quieted as, in less time than it would've taken to blink, there was a sickening crack and John Winchester fell, lifeless, to the ground.

He didn't acknowledge Gabriel's appearance at his side as he watched the scene play out in front of him unnoticed.

As his mother made a deal with a demon no better than the devil himself the scene blurred around them. When it came back into focus they were stood on a street - one that, on closer examination, Sam realised was far more familiar than it had a right to be considering he could count the number of times he'd been there on one hand.

SPN

Gabriel waited patiently (Yes, he  _*could*_  do patient, thank-you very much!), and as Sam finally turned to face him with questioning eyes he spoke.

"What? You didn't think the Apocalypse waited around for your birth to even get going didya Sammy?" He raised an eyebrow in feigned disbelief. "Wow. And I thought I was arrogant! You really did, didn't you? How did you think Azazel got into your nursery kiddo? Past a hunter - okay, a retired hunter, but those instincts never quite leave, do they Sasquatch? Your mom was raised not just by a hunter, but a whole family of hunters - you think she wouldn't have been taking precautions? Azazel made sure he had a way in when he killed your dad in front of her."

He watched as Sam absorbed that bit of information, and when the over-grown ape opened his mouth to say something he cut him off before he could form half a word.

"I'm not saying your lack of existence won't change things Winchester - just that it obviously can't change _*everything*_. There's really only one thing you need to know about this little road-trip of ours: we're not really here. Think of it like watching a movie from  _*inside*_  the movie...no-one's going to notice us, you can't affect what's happening in any way, you can just  _*watch*_. Now, pay attention - this is the important bit after all...we're about to try and derail ourselves an Apocalypse."

With that rather dramatic announcement, Gabriel turned to watch the old Winchester home, just as sirens began sounding in the distance.

They watched together as the ambulance pulled up outside the house, and paramedics rushed inside. The worry on the hunter's face and posture, in the very air around him, was so palpable Gabriel thought if he'd been human he might've choked on it. Sam didn't say anything, and the tension in his shoulders grew seemingly in proportion to the length of time the paramedics were inside.

Gabriel sighed, and spoke softly.

"Ask, kid."

"What did you do?"

The words were softly spoken, as though Sam was afraid to hear the answer. He probably was, given what he knew of Gabriel's standard interaction with humans.

Nevermind that these weren't the kind of people Gabriel targeted. Nevermind that the Winchesters were good people, even if Mary  _*had*_  made an enormous error in judgement all those years ago.

Gabriel's reputation as a Trickster with a vicious streak was all Sam could see right now.

And maybe he was right.

Because there  _*were*_  other ways he could've done this. He could've found out when Sam was conceived and made sure the couple had no...opportunity...that night, he could've enhanced the discord between the couple to the point where they'd never consider having more kids...hell, he could've even messed with their fertility, even if only temporarily.

The problem was, none of those would've had the impact...the shock factor...that he was pretty sure Sam needed right now.

And so he'd settled on this.

"Arranged an accident. A toy at the top of the stairs that was never supposed to be there...it won't kill her."

Sam looked a little confused, but as Mary was wheeled out of the house on a stretcher followed by a panicked John carrying a three year old Dean understanding settled on his face and all the air seemed to rush out of the larger man as though he'd been struck.

Gabriel doubted it was necessary, but drove home his point anyway. Overkill was always preferable to not enough kill, even if it seriously sucked sometimes.

"By the time they reach the hospital she'll have miscarried. Now we see how things play out from here."

It was a silent, hunched in on himself Sam that he grasped by the arm as he took them to the next major event in the timeline.

SPN

The street around them looked hardly changed. There were only three clues that they'd actually moved at all.

The first that it was dark now - easily the middle of the night when before it had been perhaps late afternoon or early evening.

The second was the fact that the ambulance was gone - not just driving off as it would have been had they stayed, but completely disappeared.

The biggest sign though - the one that drew Sam's attention almost immediately, and made him pull against Gabriel's grip on his arm, now tighter than it had been moments earlier - was the house.

Their house.

Glowing eerily in the light of the flames licking up its sides, consuming it entirely.

This was no small nursery fire.

This was an  _*inferno*_.

Sam looked over to Gabriel.

He knew - the knowledge twisted his gut into knots even as he hoped and prayed that he was wrong. He couldn't believe it, not until Gabriel confirmed what his heart was already raging against in his chest...

"You would have been six months old today. Azazel trapped your parents inside before he started the fire - he never did like having his plans interfered with...anger management issues, I guess you could say."

Although the words were light, almost flippant as the Archangel trailed off into silence, the tone behind them was sombre, sorry...bitter.

Sam could hardly bare to ask...

"...Dean...?" he finally choked out, eyes flickering away from Gabriel's face to watch the flames for a second before returning.

If Dean was in there too...

Oh God! If he'd caused his brother's death again...?

His mind started pulling forth images of the little boy he'd seen in the previous vision, of his tiny big brother, only now he was surrounded by flames, scared, alone, choking on smoke...Oh God!...burning...

Sam barely noticed the pained sob of a sound, vaguely registered that it had spilled from his own lips, before he felt hands tightly gripping his arms, shaking him almost kindly.

"Snap out of it Sammy - Deano... _*Dean*_ ," it was the Archangel correcting himself, using Dean's actual name, that caught Sam's attention, drew him out of the nightmare he'd fallen into, "is unconscious in the backyard. Azazel didn't want him dead - not yet at least."

Gabriel's eyes grew distant for a second as Sam watched, before focusing on him once more.

"The fire-fighters will find him, soon, and he'll be fine, physically at least - just a measly broken arm from the fall down the porch steps."

Gabriel's words couldn't banish the images entirely, but Sam managed to reign them in, managed to push them down...he couldn't think about his parents right now - all he could do was cling to the fact that Dean was still alive.

Alive, and with a chance of actually living, since there was no Dad to drag him into hunting, no Sam to ruin everything this time around...Sam ignored the cold swirl of dread that wondered  _*why*_  Azazel hadn't killed Dean with his parents - the demon was hardly known for being merciful...

Sam finally turned away from Gabriel, and felt the Archangel's grip on his arms loosen and disappear as he did so. The flames were brighter now, seemed sharper against the night sky, and Sam watched silently as finally a fire-engine pulled up.

Wondering what Gabriel was waiting for, Sam finally broke the silence.

"Can we go? I...I can't..."

Can't what? Watch the fire that killed not one, but both of his parents this time? Watch when they find Dean, small and broken and so vulnerable, hurt again because of Sam's stupidity?

He couldn't even get not being born right! Everywhere he went, everywhere he looked, everything he touched...it all turned to ash. Even when he made sure he wasn't there to touch it.

He heard an exasperated sigh beside him.

"Sure Sammy."

With that he felt a soft touch on his arm again, and the world went dark.

SPN

The man...no,  _*boy*_ , he corrected himself...in front of him couldn't possibly be Dean.

The teenager they were watching from the shadows looked nothing like the Dean Sam remembered from when he was a child.

For one, he looked far younger. Hard and vulnerable at the same time in a way that Sam had never seen on Dean before.

His eyes were shuttered, and a guarded, wary look graced features that by this age should have been oozing charm and confidence.

Was this the difference losing Dad had made to Dean? The difference never having Sam around had made?

"What happened to him?" The words were out of his mouth before Sam had even realised he was going to ask, his eyes never straying from the lonely looking figure leaning against the school wall.

"Foster care - thanks to interference from one side or the other - yeah, turns out even without you around, your brother's still a 'person of interest' to my brothers - he's never had a decent care placement. The couple he's with now...they might not give a shit, but he's better off with them than he was in any of the previous homes."

The tightly leashed anger in Gabriel's voice when he mentioned the previous homes made Sam's heart sink. What had Dean had to go through?

There was only one thing that held Sam together as the possibilities flashed through his mind.

"At least he's safe from Hell here," he muttered softly, not sure if the words were aimed at Gabriel or himself.

SPN

Gabriel looked askance at the hunter.

"Sometimes Hell's a state of mind, kid...you really believe he's better off in this life, don't you?"

In this reality, Dean hadn't just been left motherless at age four - he'd been left completely alone in the world.

What the  _*hell*_  was Sam smoking, that this seemed like a better life?

Well, hopefully he'd buy a clue sooner rather than later - Gabriel had been looking over the entire timeline while Sam watched Dean, and it was all he could do to keep them moving forward right now. He wanted nothing more than to bug out and run screaming from what was coming, but perhaps Sam would get the point before they had to go that far?

Gabriel sent up a quick prayer to Dad, before returning his attention to the scene playing out in front of them.

As a smaller boy approached the teenaged Dean, he seemed to completely transform in front of their eyes. The moment his eyes lit on the kid his shoulders pulled up, and a lazy, genuine smile that actually reached his eyes appeared.

"Heya Maxie, how was school?"

Dean's voice drifted across the carpark to them, and they watched as he listened with real - or so well-faked it looked real - interest as the younger boy began rattling off a list of things that had happened that day.

A glance at Sam confirmed what Gabriel thought -  _*this*_  Dean was one Sam recognised...the confident big brother who'd had his back, always, while they were growing up.

As the chatting boys began to walk away, Sam turned to look at Gabriel expectantly. Had he recognised the kid, despite his youth?

"Max Miller."

At Sam's 'O' of surprise, Gabriel guessed not.

"Dean's foster brother since last year. His whole family were killed in what the police labelled a 'home-invasion'. The kid was the only survivor - claimed he hid in the basement. They never caught they murderer."

Despite the circumstances, Gabriel couldn't help enjoying watching Sam as the big moose slowly turned his words over, taking them apart and figuring out...

"...the police labelled...? You're saying that's not what actually happened. That he lied."

It wasn't even a question - Sam was stating what he was sure were facts.

Give the kid a prize!

"Accelerated development - Azazel needed a new favourite, and Max was next in line on the family tree. Third cousin, twice removed, on your mom's side. A few demons in the right places once the kid had gotten rid of his folks, and voila! The fated vessels are brothers, of a sort, again. He didn't waste any time playing the orphan card on Dean to draw out those latent big-brother instincts."


	4. The Unexpected

Sam could only watch in horror as Dean raced in through the open door and lurched across the room towards the crumpled and bloody shape that lay next to the sofa.

The room was a mess - furniture over-turned, things broken and scattered everywhere...it looked like the aftermath of a bar-room brawl.

They'd arrived in time to see Max and the demon trashing the place, and then...

Sam still couldn't believe this was happening...

...then the kid had fetched a carving knife from the kitchen, and handed it over calmly. He'd stood there, and hadn't even flinched when that  _*thing*_  had come at him with it - he didn't try to dodge, he just  _*let*_  it stab him in the heart.

He'd been dead before he hit the ground, and it wasn't until Sam heard Dean running up the yard, saw him barrelling through the front door, that it all clicked neatly...horrifyingly...into place.

As his brother dropped to his knees and pulled the body up to rest across his legs, Sam turned to Gabriel in desperation.

"Stop him. Please," he begged, hands grasping at the Archangel's shoulders. "Please! Don't let him..."

He couldn't finish the thought...his voice choked off at the knowledge that there was only one way this could go. Dean wasn't a hunter, he'd probably never even heard of a crossroads demon, but then how many of the crossroads victims had before they made their deals?

"I can't, we're not here Sammy - observation only, remember? It has to play out as it will..."

Sam thought he saw sympathy in the Trickster's eyes, but couldn't bring himself to care...sympathy wouldn't save Dean from making the worst mistake of his life.

He pushed away from Gabriel, turning to look at Dean again. He was still knelt cradling Max's body, choked off sobs and pleas barely audible even in the silent room.

Someone must have called the police - a neighbour perhaps? No, Sam realised when the man who'd pulled up in the cruiser reached the house, not a neighbour. The flash of black in the officer's eyes...the demon had switched bodies after it left, or called one of its friends in.

Sam swung back around and grabbed Gabriel roughly by the shoulders, not caring that the smaller man could destroy him with a thought if he pissed him off. Not caring about anything, except...

"Do something! Please Gabriel, don't let this...don't..."

A broken sound escaped as words failed him, and Sam watched as Gabriel shook his head softly and raised his hands to Sam's arms.

"I'm sorry Sam, I truly am."

"No..." the word was little more than a whisper, and as the world once again faded to black around them, Sam's knees buckled and his head slumped forward - only Gabriel's hold on his arms kept him from slumping to the ground completely as he tried not to hear the words that echoed after them...the words of his brother, still so  _*young*_ , so innocent to the evil in the world...

...damning himself to Hell.

SPN

Gabriel looked down at the hunter knelt before him.

This wasn't what was supposed to happen - he'd never intended to break Sam even more than he already had been. A simple lesson - shit happens, and it's going to happen with or without you. That's what it was supposed to be.

Had he gotten it wrong again? Just like he'd misjudged the kid in Broward County when he wouldn't give up on his brother...

What in Dad's name was he supposed to do now?

Had he...

"Why?"

The pained murmur broke into his train of thought, and he watched as Sam's head lifted, reddened and slightly glassy eyes focusing on him.

Sam didn't bother to take in the empty motel room around them - perhaps he was afraid of what he'd see, if he took his eyes off Gabriel. It's not as if there was anything good coming now that Dean had made the deal, after all.

Not understanding the question, he quickly skimmed the hunter's thoughts to see what he wanted explained...

...and very nearly took the kid's head off on Dean's behalf at what he found. Tightening his grip slightly on Sam's arms, he swallowed down the urge to smack some sense into the stupid, self-involved idiot who apparently knew _*nothing*_  about his own brother anymore!

It wasn't 'Why are you showing me this?' that Sam wanted to know.

"Because he didn't know what Max was really like. For three years that boy was family to him - the only family he ever truly knew. He was so young when your parents died...he never had anyone else, not until Max...what else was he going to do Sammy?"

He managed to keep his tone calm, his voice even, as he explained what the dumb ape should've already known - for Dad's sake! From his reaction when Dean found the body Gabriel had figured he had known, he'd certainly seemed to realise what was coming next...but then maybe knowing and understanding weren't quite linking up for Sam yet.

Knowing his brother was going to make a deal, and knowing  _*why*_  he was going to do it weren't the same thing, after all...

He watched carefully as Sam took in what he'd said, and when it didn't seem like he was going to get a response, he spoke up again.

"He got ten years. I guess they were willing to wait for Max to grow up first, since they got to him and your brother so early."

Sam looked away again, and Gabriel felt his arms tug in his grip. Letting them go, he watched as the hunter braced his hands on his knees, and seemed to be trying to steady himself with slow, deep breaths.

"You know what happens next Sam..."

The kid - and he did look like a kid now, nothing of the tall imposing man was left in front of him...instead he looked small and vulnerable as he hunched in on himself at the words - gave him a small nod.

"I'll be honest - I've had a glimpse of what's coming and I'd just as soon not look too closely at any of it..."

Because that would mean seeing his brothers...

Gabriel shook off the thought. There was at least one small comfort he could give Sam.

"Castiel pulls him out after his fourth year there."

At  _*that*_  Sam's head snaps back up, eyes locking onto Gabriel's.

"Not forty...?"

It's barely a whisper, but Gabriel hears the hope, the pain, the  _*disappointment*_  in it...

"You need to understand Sam - your Dad, your brother...the length of time they held out was incredible. Most souls don't even last  _*one*_  year. Even without his history as a hunter, without knowing what was coming, Dean held out for three and a half years."

Sam didn't answer, instead looking back away as his fingers dug into the fabric of his jeans.

He had to know this next bit was coming, but Gabriel almost couldn't bring himself to tell him...

"Michael...he won't wait around for the seals to be broken. Dean's vulnerable, a target to those who might interfere, and he..."

"...he doesn't know any better. He has no reason  _*not*_  to trust the Archangel Michael, because surely he's one of the good guys, right?" Sam cut in bitterly.

"Yeah," Gabriel answered softly, before steeling himself to continue. "Yeah, and with Michael on the ground the seals only last a week. Max was groomed for my...for  _*Lucifer*_  from childhood..."

And then came the bit that Gabriel really wanted to avoid seeing at all costs.

Michael and Lucifer, in tailor-made, moulded-just-for-them Vessels.

Michael and Lucifer, fighting...

One of them losing.

This time when silence settled over the room, Gabriel let it.

This whole trip was supposed to be about knocking some sense into the idiot human - so why did Gabriel feel like _*he'd*_  been put through the ringer too?

Next time he had a bright idea, Gabriel fully intended to tell it to go straight to Hell.

SPN

"Where are you?"

They'd been silent for what was probably only a few minutes, but it felt like hours to Sam.

When he looked up at the Archangel he found him staring emptily ahead.

The question slipped out before Sam had even realised he was going to ask - it had been nagging him for a while now, and he just couldn't put his finger on why...

"Huh?" Gabriel shook his head briefly, before focusing on Sam in confusion. "I'm right in front of you Sasquatch...?"

"Right, because I've suddenly been struck blind," Sam bit out, before realising that perhaps it wasn't a good idea to antagonise his only way home.

When Gabriel smirked slightly instead of getting annoyed, Sam bit back a sigh of relief and continued.

"I can see you're here, but where are  _*you*_  out there? In the world without Sam Winchester - where's this world's you? Whose side is he on, Michael's? Or Lucifer's?"

The Archangel looked faintly surprised, as if it hadn't actually occurred to him to wonder what his alter-ego was up to, before he collected himself and responded.

"What makes you think I'm on either side?"

It was a good point.

Gabriel had been in hiding until Sam and Dean had caught him out, and whatever had sent him into hiding had certainly been long before Sam had or hadn't been born, so that wouldn't have changed. Perhaps this world's Gabriel was still uninvolved...?

Something about that just didn't sit right though. The nagging sensation hadn't gone away.

It was on the tip of his tongue...if he could just...

"...it was always going to end with us..." Sam murmured, realisation hitting him like a bolt of lightning.

"Huh?"

As Gabriel stared down at him in confusion Sam leapt to his feet, grasping the smaller man by the shoulders as he began to explain.

"You said it was always going to end with us.  _ ****Always****_. You don't think my lack of existence would have registered on your radar then? Didn't anyone wonder about my mom's miscarriage? Or did you tripping her down those stairs change what this universe's you  _*always*_  knew?"

Sam really  _*really*_  wished he'd been in the mood to properly appreciate the adorably gobsmacked expression on the Archangel's face.

He wasn't even sure why it mattered - everything was still fucked up - but it felt...important...somehow. He couldn't explain it...

SPN

There were reasons Sam Winchester was one of the best hunters around.

Making leaps of logic like that? That was most definitely one of them.

Oh, the prophecy hadn't exactly named the Winchesters - it went more along the lines of 'the brothers born at the coming together of the two great lines'. Everyone was always so dramatic with the prophesizing in those days! The second Sam Winchester had been conceived, it had been kicked into motion. That John and Mary bore Cupid's marks was a tad suspicious, but since the prophecy hadn't specified how the lines would be brought together Gabriel had always assumed someone had had orders.

In this reality the lines had come together, Dean had been born, and then Sam  _*had*_  been conceived.

Between the Cupid's marks, the fire, and then the very conveniently available foster brother of the other line?

Well, that was just all kinds of suspicious!

If the set-up had looked this contrived in their own world, he might not have limited himself to simply trying to make Sam less likely to go off the deep end at Dean's death.

So what  _*had*_  he done here?

"Let's see, shall we?"

Gabriel brought his hand up, but before he could snap his fingers...

"Wait!"

He raised an eyebrow in question at the hunter and waited, hand frozen mid-air.

"You..." Sam paused, stepping back slightly and glancing down in embarrassment.

Gabriel waited, but Sam stayed silent.

"I'd say we haven't got all day, but since we're time-travelling and I'm awesome, we sort of have if we need it."

Sam looked up from behind his hair before replying.

"It's stupid, nevermind."

"The only stupid question is the one unasked Sammy..."

Wow, okay - that was quite some bitch-face the kid had there.

"I'm just saying...we're not technically on any clock beyond the whole 'your life is creeping on' one, and since you're into all that healthy eating  _*and*_  you've got an Archangel who likes you handy, I'd say we've got some time to spare so if you want to know something you might as well ask."

He wasn't promising that he'd answer...but if the kid didn't ask he'd have to go looking in his head again, because it was just going to bug him all day otherwise...

"The snapping your fingers thing - you haven't done it since we left Dean, so if you don't need to why do you?"

Huh. Not what he'd thought the kid was going to ask - it was a little bit random, considering the day they'd been having so far...then again, maybe concentrating on something unimportant was Sam's way of distracting himself? Giving his brain some space, calming down before the pressure of the whole Apocalypse thing got to him perhaps...?

"It's habit, I guess."

Sam looked up in surprise. He hadn't been expecting an answer, obviously.

"When I left, I reinvented myself - the snapping...it's just a part of that. The Trickster snaps his fingers, and things happen - it's a supernatural trademark, I guess you could say."

He grinned at Sam.

"Plus, it looks kinda cool, right Sasquatch?"

As a small grin curled Sam's lips, Gabriel's grin grew. It felt good to put something other than fear, pain, hate or sadness on the idiot's face - he didn't smile nearly enough.

But then war did that to a person didn't it? His smile turned false and brittle at the thought.

"Why do you do it? The Trickster thing I mean?"

"You know who I was? I mean, I'm Gabriel, obviously, but do you know  _*what*_  I was, before I left?"

"It depends who you ask - you've been called The Messenger, Strength of God, the Guardian of Monday, the Archangel of death, resurrection, vengeance, truth and hope, the Angel of Mercy, the Angel of..."

Gabriel nodded as he saw Sam make the connection.

"The Angel of Judgement."

He hadn't expected half the names the human had reeled off, although he  _*was*_  talking to the human bookworm so perhaps he should've guessed that the kid would've researched him after they realised who he was.

"Well, someone certainly did their homework, Sammy. You actually only missed  _*one*_  of the important ones - I was also the Archangel of Humanity."

And wasn't it funny how  _*that*_  particular title was starting to seem far more...appropriate?

"Tell that one to Dean - it'll make his  _*year*_!" Sam snickered. "Was? Did you get fired when you left or something?"

"Funny kiddo, really...let's just say things got...complicated...when I left."

Because technically, he was still all of those things. But it had been millennia since Dad had needed his Messenger, and the Seraphim did a decent job guarding the days so that he was hardly needed for Monday anymore (although he was starting to think it wasn't a coincidence that Sam Winchester was a Monday's child). Vengeance and Judgement worked into the Trickster gig quite nicely, and as for the rest...he'd delegated the bulk of the work out to the lower ranks long before he'd ever left, just helping out with them now and then (which he still did when the mood struck - sometimes he wondered if the other Angels noticed, but since no-one had come looking for him...probably not).

"Right. So the whole Trickster thing..."

Sam's words pulled Gabriel from his thoughts.

"There wasn't a soul among my victims who didn't have it coming."

The punishments fitting the crimes was his own twist on the job, but they had  _*all*_  deserved their fates...not one of them showed even a shred of remorse for what they'd done.

"What about Broward County?"

Of course. Because with the Winchesters, all roads led back to the Winchesters. Fine. If Sam wanted to know, he'd tell him.

"That whole thing with your brother...that was something else. I thought...I thought I could throw a spanner in the works, prepare you for Dean's death so you didn't fall for the demon whore's tricks. I didn't count on your psychotic levels of stubborn though."

If only Sam had just been able to  _*handle*_  grief like ninety percent of the human population and move on with things, life would've been so much easier for everyone...

Wait, wasn't he supposed to be getting Sam  _*out*_  of the self-blame game, not helping him dig in...? Crap.

"It wasn't...I wasn't being the Trickster then, I was just...out of practice, I guess you could say...at being anything else."

"So back then, before we found you out...before Dean called you a coward..."

And why in Dad's name had he started this little Q&A? So much for just asking 'a stupid question'...apparently there was no such thing as  _*enough*_  information in Sam's world.

"You know your brother's a hypocrite, right Sammy? He called me a coward for not wanting to fight - but he didn't even consider who I'd be fighting if I did. They're my brothers. They've been my brothers since  _*literally*_  the dawn of time. Doing this...picking  _*your*_  side...means I might have to  _ ****kill****_  my brothers."

"Gabriel..." Sam interrupted, but Gabriel cut him off.

"No...no, it's not...I've made my decision. I just...I'm not okay with it, not yet, maybe not ever, but I've made it. Castiel...Castiel has far more strength than anyone ever gave him credit for upstairs, you know?"

They'd all underestimated Castiel, including him. The little guy had brains, and he had guts. But more than that...he had Faith. He'd been so certain he was doing the right thing, and so  _*sure*_  he would find Dad, he'd almost had Gabriel believing him. He still wasn't sure he didn't believe him, in fact...

And on that note, it was officially time to end the conversation.

"Now, enough moping around, let's figure out what the sexiest Archangel in this reality is doing with himself, shall we?"


	5. Hope Springs

Sam blinked as the world changed around him again, far more suddenly then the previous fade-outs.

He grinned at Gabriel, noticing that the Archangel  _*hadn't*_  snapped his fingers to get them...wherever it was they were. A hospital emergency room, it looked like.

The snapping fingers thing...it reminded Sam far too much of one of the worst days of his life (or should that be _*several*_  of the worst days of his life? Does it count as several if they're technically the same day over and over?). He knew he shouldn't, but he really preferred to separate out the Trickster and Gabriel in his head - yeah, they were the same guy, but the Trickster had  _*tortured*_  him for months, and he hadn't quite reconciled that to Gabriel, who apparently wanted to help him.

Who had apparently been trying to help him even then, a small voice in the back of Sam's mind whispered.

"Where...or  _*when*_...are we?"

"The hospital they brought your mother to, after the accident. They're just through that door over there."

Sam looked to the right as Gabriel indicated, before looking back.

"Why are we here? I thought we were going to find you?"

"You make it sound like all we have to do is look me up in the phonebook. Do you know how hard it is, tracing an Archangel who really,  _*really*_  doesn't want to be found?"

Sam shook his head.

"No, but it's you - can't you just go wherever you were now? I mean, you only changed one thing - shouldn't this world's you still be, you know, in the same place you were then?"

"Uhh, not really."

"What? Why?"

"I..." Gabriel stopped with a slight shake of his head. "I mean  _*he*_  will have noticed what I did. I can't track him - my own Grace is too similar, it's getting in the way - but I'm pretty sure I know where he's going to be, soon."

"Here."

"Yup."

"And why would he be here? Wait, what do you mean 'noticed'? Is it because you technically are him or something? Like he could feel your Grace work because it's  _*his*_  in this reality?"

"Nope, but you get a gold star for effort on that theory Sammy!"

"It's Sam."

SPN

It was an automatic response. There was a hint of annoyance in it, and Gabriel was pretty sure Sam hardly even realised he'd said it.

But Gabriel had noticed.

Because he'd been throwing in the occasional 'Sammy' on purpose.

This was the first time the kid had protested.

It was a small victory, to be sure, but it was the small things that really counted in the end. Something so small, so unimportant, as a hated nickname...for that to matter...

People who didn't care anymore, who wanted to die (or never be born...), they didn't sweat the small stuff. So yeah, Gabriel was counting Sam's irritated retort as a first  _*real*_  sign of success.

He wasn't done, not by a long shot, but that edge Sam had been hovering on? He just shuffled back slightly from it. Now Gabriel just needed to keep the kid headed in that direction.

"Sure it is Sammy."

Gabriel grinned as Sam glared at him.

"Okay then,  _*Gabe*_ ," Sam's face took on an almost challenging expression at the nickname and Gabriel had to bite back a laugh, "why here?"

"Two reasons - one: My awesome sense of self-preservation - if something big's happening I make a point of knowing about it, because knowledge is power Sammy. And two: the flash of Grace in the other room a few seconds ago was far too...big...to be anything other than Archangelic."

Sam glared at him.

"So if you're in there, now, then why are we still out here?"

Figuring the kid had a point Gabriel grabbed Sam's hand, smirking at the startled expression on the hunter's face.

"Let's just hope the awesomeness of two of me in one place doesn't make the universe implode!"

As Sam rolled his eyes Gabriel grinned. The room around them changed in an instant, and suddenly the only sound was the muffled sobbing coming from the hospital bed.

"Uh, Gabe...?"

"Yeah Sammy?"

"That's not you."

"Noticed that, did you?"

Gabriel was well aware that he sounded a little...surprised.

But then who wouldn't sound surprised, coming face-to-face with a big brother they hadn't seen in millennia?

The fact that said brother couldn't actually see him made absolutely  _*no*_  difference.

Gabriel had thousands of brothers, but this one? This one had been  _*family*_  once. Back when Gabriel had had a family, that is. Before the fighting, before the distance and fear and distrust...before he'd run.

"Who is it? You said Archangelic...it's not Michael, is it?"

Sam's worried tone broke through the memories swarming through Gabriel's mind, and he turned to focus on the human.

"No..." Gabriel paused as the word came out far more shakily than he'd expected, and took a steadying breath. "No, that's Raphael."

Raphael, who was standing less than three feet away, watching the humans huddled together on the small hospital bed curiously, his head tipped slightly to the left in a gesture reminiscent of Castiel.

"The guy who killed Cas?"

The hate and anger in Sam's tone grated. Who was  _*he*_  to judge?

"No."

Who was he to get pissed at Gabriel's brother for something he hadn't even done yet?

"No, Sam - he didn't. He might, one day...in our reality he did. But here, now? Raphael hasn't done anything to deserve your anger."

He wasn't entirely sure why he was defending him.

Because Sam  _*was*_  right - Raphael killed Castiel, and even if it hadn't happened yet, might never happen in this world...even then, he'd proven he was capable of it, hadn't he? He could kill one of their brothers...he could kill _ ****Castiel****_...and not even feel remorse for it. He could help Michael in his insane quest for Paradise, and not care who was hurt along the way...

Gabriel opened his mouth to continue, but before he could utter a sound, Raphael began walking towards the bed.

"What's he doing? Gabriel...?"

When Sam moved to intercept his brother, Gabriel tightened his grip on the hand he still held, holding him in place.

As Raphael rested a hand over Mary's stomach, Sam turned to glare at him, trying to wrench his hand free.

"What's he doing to her?"

Fear saturated Sam's soul, and it pained Gabriel that he wasn't sure it was unwarranted. If he was wrong...

He bit back a sigh of relief as he felt the Grace radiating from his brother's hand.

"He's trying to heal her..."

"Save me, you mean? Keep the apocalypse on track, right?"

"No kid," he murmured, shaking his head sadly. They deserved every ounce of Sam's distrust, but it still cut. "I told you, she miscarried before she ever reached the hospital. He's trying to heal  _*her*_ , the bruising from the fall..."

Whatever had changed Raphael, whatever had made him join Michael's insane quest for Paradise...it hadn't happened yet.

SPN

"I don't understand. Dean said..." Sam paused, glancing down at Gabriel before looking back to the other Archangel in the room. "He said Raphael was..."

He trailed off, suddenly aware that this was Gabriel's brother he was talking about. If someone had said about Dean what he'd been about to say...well, he probably wouldn't have taken it very well. And he didn't have angelic powers to back up his temper...

"Dangerous? Psychotic?  _*Evil*_?" Gabriel asked, his tone a mixture of bitter and resigned.

Sam winced. He was pretty sure Dean had used all of those words, and a few more besides, to describe the Archangel. Changing tack, Sam tried again.

"He doesn't look like he hates us..."

"Huh?"

"Dean said he hated us - humans, I mean. We're worthless to him, just something in the way of Paradise, a nuisance to be gotten rid of. So why is he here? And why heal a few bruises that would've healed themselves soon enough? It doesn't make sense."

Sam flicked his eyes back to Gabriel as he spoke, and offered a small smile at the grateful look the Archangel gave him. Tact and diplomacy - Dean had never understood how useful they could be...sometimes the direct approach was unnecessarily painful.

"It makes perfect sense to me Sammy."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know the Archangel your brother and Castiel met. The brother I remember - the brother I left behind? This is him..."

Sam looked over to where Raphael was moving slowly away from the bed again.

"I don't know what broke him, what changed him into the angel your brother met, but whatever it was happened far more recently than I'd been assuming."

The pain in Gabriel's voice was tempered with something Sam couldn't place.

"It makes me wonder..."

Gabriel stopped mid-sentence, eyes darting to the formerly empty side of the room. Whatever he was wondering, Sam would have to wait to find out.

Gabriel had arrived. The other one.

Sam wondered briefly if he'd be able to tell them apart if he lost the grip he had on  _*his*_  Gabriel - they weren't just in the same vessel (and how long had Gabriel had that thing, anyway?), they had on the same outfit too.

Did Angels just not get the whole changing clothes thing then? Outisde of playing tricks on people that is, Sam thought, remembering the many costumes Gabriel had worn in his role as Trickster over the years.

Most Angels though...Sam had a sudden mental image of a fifty year old Dean standing next to Cas, still dressed in his suit and trench coat, and grinned.

As the two Archangels from this reality stared at each other in...shock?...Gabriel sidled slightly closer to Sam, until the hunter could feel the heat radiating off the smaller figure at his side.

"Well, this should be interesting..."

That was all he had to say? Really?

Sam was about to reply when another voice sounded.

"Gabriel."

"Raphael."

"We thought you dead, Brother."

Both Gabriels winced at that.

Sam suddenly had the almost overwhelming urge to leave. This wasn't fair - Gabriel shouldn't have to watch his reunion with his Brother from the sidelines. He shouldn't have to stand there, unable to answer the unspoken but clearly there accusation in Raphael's words, unable to defend himself.

"I couldn't face it any more. The fighting, the distrust, the hatred...Heaven was destroyed in the war, a torn shadow of its glory all that remained. After Father left, what was there to stay for?"

"Do your brothers matter so little to you then, Gabriel? Are we not worth staying for? Are the humans more worthy of your company than us?"

The other Gabriel flinched back as though struck, and Sam was sure he heard the bones in his hand creak as  _*his*_ Gabriel's grip tightened even more.

SPN

Gabriel's grip on Sam tightened reflexively at Raphael's words.

It was only the hunter's muffled hiss of pain that stopped him from crushing his hand entirely, he was sure. He'd forgotten how fragile humans were, for a second. He sent a healing wave of Grace to the damaged limb, and mumbled a soft apology with it.

He  _*had*_  abandoned his brothers, but only because he could no longer bear to watch them fight and kill one another. Even those who had fallen with Lucifer were still their brothers, despite their mistakes.

Gabriel wasn't made for war any more than Raphael was, but unlike Raphael he had no talent for healing. Michael never stayed to deal with the aftermath of any battle, and so while Raphael found solace in saving those who were not beyond it Gabriel had been left to deal with the dead, alone.

"I couldn't lose anymore - I wouldn't have survived it."

He had spoken softly, and yet his words sounded loud throughout the room...

...because his counter-part had also spoken them, he realised.

A quick glance at Sam confirmed it - the hunter's eyes were flicking back and forth between the two of them, and his expression was half bemused, half freaked out.

Before he had chance to comment on it, other him was speaking again.

"You got to pick up the pieces, put them back together...you saved our brothers, while I was left on the battlefields, surrounded by the bodies of those I'd failed. It was killing me, but I did it for our Father. When he left...my strength went with him, Raphael. I couldn't do it anymore."

The urge to run welled up inside Gabriel, but he forced it back. They weren't done here yet.

When he felt Sam nudge him slightly from the side, when the hand in his tightened slightly, comfortingly, Gabriel had to fight to keep from leaning into the offered support.

"Why are you here, Brother?"

"The baby - it's..."

"Gone," Raphael interrupted. "It did not survive."

"But...the prophecy...?"

"You believe they were to be the Vessels for our brothers?"

"Don't you? They were of the lines, both of them. There have been portents. The mother is marked by her deal with Azazel..."

"And both parents bear the mark of a Cupid."

At this statement, all eyes were suddenly on Raphael. The marks had always bugged Gabriel, but he'd eventually just assumed that someone had had orders.

When the other Gabriel only raised an eyebrow in question, Raphael continued.

"Cupids are sent to unite destined couples regularly, but Mary and John Winchester - if they were meant to be the parents of the Vessels, no Cupid would have been necessary. Prophecies are sacred, especially those in which free-will must play a role. Any interference, any circumventing of that free-will, is absolutely forbidden."

"I knew it!" Gabriel muttered, earning a questioning look from Sam. "Later," he said quickly, turning back to the conversation.

"...you know?"

"Father explained it to me once - I didn't understand why at the time, but I think perhaps he had planned to leave us even then. I think he knew what our brothers would do when he did."

"What do you mean?"

"If not for the Cupids marks, if not for the loss of this child...I would have thought the Winchesters to be the prophesied family. You've been gone a long time Gabriel, but you should know...all is not well with Michael. I fear that we should be on our guard - if the Winchesters  _*were*_  manipulated as I believe, then I cannot imagine the death of the unborn child will be an end to it."

Silence settled over the room.

SPN

"Brother, will you..."

"I'm not coming back."

Raphael nodded quietly. Of course, he had expected as much.

Gabriel had left for a reason - a reason which, far from being gone now, was actually becoming  _*more*_  present. He would not drag his brother into a fight he was not ready to face, not when there was another option.

"Will you keep watch, here on Earth? If I am too often absent from Heaven, Michael will wonder. I fear this is far from over, and if we know what they are planning, we might prepare better to avert it."

At Gabriel's torn look, Raphael pressed slightly.

"I do not ask you to do anything - in fact I ask you do nothing  _*but*_  watch. We should not show our hand too soon, or war may become inevitable."

"Just watch?"

"For now," Raphael confirmed, "As far as is possible, I will guard my knowledge of your presence and identity on Earth from our brothers in return."

He could see that Gabriel did not miss the qualifications on his promise, but his brother seemed willing to accept that it was as much assurance as he was able to give. Nothing was certain, not when even their own brothers could not be trusted without question.

"I won't fight them - not Lucifer  _*or*_  Michael. I've killed too many of our brothers..."

"I will never ask it of you, you have my promise on that Brother."

He could see the resignation in Gabriel's face, though he knew the younger Archangel believed him.

He would never ask it of him, never  _*order*_  it of him, and he knew that Gabriel might even die himself to avoid killing any of their brethren.

But they both knew that Gabriel would kill again if necessary - if it meant saving others of their brethren from certain death Gabriel would take up the sword again, regardless of the cost to his conscience and Grace.

Raphael would do what he could to prevent it, but if they couldn't stop it from getting that bad, he wouldn't have to ask Gabriel to fight, because his little brother, as ever, would do what was needed.

SPN

"Okay." Gabriel watched as his counter-part paused briefly, before pulling himself together almost visibly, steeling himself and standing a little taller to bear the extra weight which Gabriel  _*knew*_  now rested on his shoulders. "Okay, I'll help. I'll watch our brothers on Earth, and I'll keep you in the loop."

"The...loop?"

Both Gabriels - and Sam, Gabriel noticed on glancing up quickly - grinned as Raphael tried to decipher the unfamiliar word.

"I'll let you know if anything's happening, Bro."

"Right, good. And remember, do not interfere - if our brothers know we are suspicious, they may move prematurely and all could be lost."

"Look but don't touch, got it Raph. I..."

Gabriel's double paused, suddenly unsure, before taking a breath and falling into a stance that Gabriel knew he used only when he was preparing to be hurt, rebuffed, or otherwise cut down and had decided that, fuck it all, he was going to do or say whatever it was anyway.

"I missed you, Brother."

A squeeze of Sam's hand in his, and Gabriel released the breath he had been holding. What he wouldn't give, to be able to have such a conversation with  _*his*_  Raphael.

"And I you. I trust I shall not have to do so again?"

At the unspoken order in his brother's words, Gabriel chuckled. The reprimand in Raphael's tone and raised brow were a comfort, even if they weren't technically directed at  _*him*_.

Father, how he wanted this! If there was even a chance...if Raphael could be pulled back onto whatever ledge he'd fallen or been pushed off...

As soon as he was done fixing his human, he was going after his brother.

"I'll keep in touch this time Raphael. Even...even if there's no news...?"

The other Gabriel looked hopeful and afraid all at once. He was expecting to be turned away unless he could be useful, Gabriel knew. It's what he would have felt in his place...he deserved no less after abandoning his home and what remained of his family.

So the annoyance on Raphael's face at the question was a welcome sight indeed.

"You were not missed only when you could have been useful Gabriel - if you do not keep in regular contact, irrespective of what may or may not be happening, I will be forced to seek you out. You'll not disappear again, I have had enough of grieving for my brothers."

Gabriel felt a grin tug at his own lips as, rather than looking chastised, his alternate grinned widely at the admonishment.

When Raphael simply grinned back, the younger Archangel finally relaxed slightly.

"Now, we have lingered too long here - it would not do to still be here if any of our other brothers decide to investigate the...incident. I will speak with you soon Brother."

With that, Raphael disappeared.

When his counterpart left moments later, Gabriel turned to Sam.

"You really do have the best ideas Sammy, this is turning into a  _*far*_  more interesting trip than I'd anticipated."

How effective it was being at helping Sam was still unclear, of course, but perhaps taking the focus  _*off*_  him, off the humans who'd been dragged into Gabriel's family's spat, might give the boy a bit more perspective on how it wasn't all his fault.

Maybe it would give the kid the proof that he wasn't to blame, if he saw what went on behind the scenes, so to speak?

He just had to realise the  _*positive*_  influence he could have on the Apocalypse, rather than focusing on everything he'd done wrong.

With that he tightened his grip on the hunter, and they left the hospital.

SPN

Sam recognised the motel room they were suddenly in from earlier, and wondered why they were back here.

This...was turning into a really weird day. Which, coming from  _*him*_? Was saying something.

"Uh, Gabe? Shouldn't we be following him? I mean, what if you can't find him again?"

Because the whole reason they'd gone to the hospital was because Gabriel had known he'd turn up, since he was awkward to track down otherwise...

"Relax kiddo - I planted the mystical equivalent of a tracker on him...visible only to me, before you go thinking it'll bring Michael down on his head. I can find him anywhere from here on out if we decide we need to see more... I just thought maybe a slight time-out might be in order - a lot of new info just popped up, and if I've got questions, then you've definitely got questions, am I right?"

As he spoke the Archangel had made himself comfy, sitting on one of the beds and popping a big bowl of what looked like M&Ms into existence.

Deciding that chocolate was the perfect accompaniment to the upcoming conversation, Sam ignored the other bed and perched on the edge of Gabriel's, helping himself to a handful of candy with a grin and a nod.

"You're lucky I like you kid - I don't usually share the chocolate you know."

Sam just grinned again - he'd done that more since Gabriel turned up than in the last few months combined, which, considering half of what they'd seen on this trip? Was just weird.

"So..." Gabriel prompted, gesturing at with the mug of hot chocolate he'd just created.

Sam couldn't help the longing look he gave the mug, he really couldn't - it had been a long day, and he was so thirsty that even crappy gas station coffee would've sounded good right now, so hot chocolate...the smell alone was making Sam's mouth water.

He jumped when another mug appeared suddenly, floating in mid-air in front of him. He grabbed it quickly, not trusting the Archangel not to drop it all over him - that  _*was*_  the sort of puerile humour he so loved, after all...it was lucky for Sam that Gabriel and Dean were unlikely to be friends, because he truly shuddered to think of the trouble the two could cause if they ever put their heads together...the prank war potential alone...

"Thanks," he mumbled softly before raising the mug up, inhaling the sweet chocolatey aroma, and finally taking a sip. It was perfect, which - considering who made it - was really not that surprising.

"You're welcome Sammy."

"I'd say don't call me that, but you're worse than Dean at not listening, you know that?"

"Yup - I've had longer to practise."

They enjoyed their hot chocolates in silence for a few minutes after that, but eventually curiosity got the better of Sam.

"What did you mean, when you said you knew it?"

He'd gotten the gist of Raphael's explanation about the Cupid's marks, but Gabriel's outburst had confused him slightly.

"I didn't have the explanation off dear old Dad like Raphael apparently did, but those marks - or more specifically, your parents having those marks - never sat right with me. You know how sometimes you just  _*know*_  something's off, but you can't put your finger on it?"

"Yeah."

It was like all those times on hunts, where the facts just didn't quite add up right. All the times when gut instinct had led them right to the solution, when the facts just weren't clear enough.

"I didn't know why they bugged me, but it felt wrong. Now I know why."

"What does it mean, though?"

"You wanna vague that up a bit kiddo?" Gabriel grinned, flipping another M&M into the air and catching it expertly in his mouth.

"I mean, if the prophecy wasn't meant to be us, if they bypassed free-will to make sure Dean and I existed, does that mean that it's all bullshit? That this whole apocalypse isn't...real?"

The sympathy that filled Gabriel's face was like a punch to the gut. It hadn't made any sense, but Sam had hoped anyway...

"Sorry Sammy, it doesn't matter that they cheated to get things going. Just look at how much further they cheated in this world...once the wheels were in motion, it became real. Saying it's not fair, that won't stop them from destroying everything - the only thing that will is...is fighting them."

Sam reached out to rest a comforting hand on Gabriel's leg as he stumbled slightly over the last few words.

None of them wanted this fight, but they were all in it, and they would have to do what they could.

Before, that thought had been depressing - after all, what could they  _*possibly*_  do, against what they were facing? They were so out-gunned it was ridiculous.

Even with Gabriel onside, they shouldn't stand a chance. Not least because Sam had heard what he'd told Raphael - he wouldn't fight. Even if that was Gabriel from twenty-odd years ago, twenty years in the life of an Archangel was nothing, it was less than minutes on a human scale.

No, despite what he'd said about accepting that he was stuck in this now, chances were that this Gabriel was every bit as adverse to fighting his brothers, and Sam couldn't blame him.

It was strange, given what he knew from Dean and Cas, but if he had to put his finger on a reason for his current...hope - was it hope? It had been so long since he felt it he hardly recognised it - he'd have to say it was Raphael.

Because Raphael twenty years ago? That was a guy he'd have wanted to get to know, maybe. He reminded Sam of a sort of mix of Castiel and Gabriel - more confident than the former, especially recently, and more serious than the latter in general, although Sam was starting to get a better understanding of Gabriel's constant need for levity - he wore it like an armour, protecting him from the world. But with twenty years being such a small drop in the ocean of time for an angel, perhaps they could still get to Gabriel's Raphael...

"What if I said there might be a way to avoid fighting? Or at least, to avoid the worst of it?"

It was a risk, and it would be cruel if it didn't work, but Sam could remember the pained looks on Gabriel's face in the hospital room, and in the warehouse all those months ago. He just prayed he wasn't raising the Archangel's hopes just to have them dashed to pieces.

SPN

_*"What if I said there might be a way to avoid fighting? Or at least, to avoid the worst of it?"*_

Sam's words echoed loudly in Gabriel's head.

He was offering Gabriel something the Archangel knew he wasn't strong enough to resist - a chance to stop any more of his brothers dying needlessly.

It didn't matter that he was pretty sure he wouldn't survive it if his hope was crushed again - it had flared into being the second the words had left the human's mouth.

Did Sam even realise what he'd done?

It didn't matter, all that mattered now was...

"...How?"

"Raphael."

Who Sam seemed to have forgotten was  _*not*_  the same Raphael they'd just seen...

"And before you say it, yes I know he's changed - we need to try and figure out how, if we can. Change happens. But the thing is, anyone who can change can change back - I did, after Dean died I went off the deep end with Ruby, but I came back from it, mostly."

Gabriel could see Sam's struggle as he mentioned his mistakes, and he respected that the human realised his own weakness when he admitted that he wasn't past it all yet - he didn't think the kid fully grasped just how much it all still weighed on him, but just to acknowledge that he wasn't done dealing with it...it was another small step backwards from the ledge he'd been on when Gabriel had dragged him away from Dean earlier that day.

"Dean had his little self-destructive run last year but he's doing better now...you're never exactly the same, but that's not always a bad thing. Now, correct me if I'm wrong here, but compared to how long he's been around, twenty - or possibly even fewer - years of being a dick is kind of like the angelic equivalent of a human having a seriously bad day, or maybe even just a bad half a day, right?"

^^Or possibly even fewer...^^

Gabriel wanted to smack himself for his oversight. He'd been assuming that whatever happened to Raphael happened soon after Sam's birth, but what if Sam was right? What if it was more recent again?

"So you're saying that Raphael's been having, at most, a two-decade long 'bad day'?"

"Ummm...kinda?"

The suddenly unsure look on Sam's face was almost comical - as if he hadn't realised how strange his theory sounded until he heard it out loud from someone else's lips.

There was also another fact that Sam seemed to be skipping over - one that would hold far more weight with the Raphael Gabriel remembered.

"During which, I might remind you, he killed at least one of his youngest brothers."

If they succeeded in getting through to his brother the guilt of what he'd done, even if Castiel was the only one he'd hurt, would likely very near destroy him.

Gabriel still couldn't imagine what Michael had done to their brother that could've made him smite his own fledgling...

"But Cas is alive again, so at most he'll have a guilt trip over it when he comes around, but I'm sure Cas'll forgive him eventually, and he'll make Dean behave civilly..."

Sam didn't have the first clue, how could he? Perhaps in this though, it was better to let the hunter keep his illusions?

He thought about it - if they succeeded in bringing Raphael around, would he break down? Would Castiel's resurrection be enough to let him cope with his guilt?

Would Castiel be as forgiving as Sam believed?

No, this was a secret that could blow up in their faces, possibly quite literally...

"You don't know what you're talking about Sammy," he said softly. "It's far more complicated than you know. Castiel...he's not just any old angel - Raphael would have struggled with the guilt of killing any of our brothers, regardless of whether Dad saw fit to bring them back..."

When Sam looked ready to cut in, Gabriel held out a hand to stop him. It wasn't hard to figure out what had caught the kid's attention.

"Dad's the only one with the power to have brought him back, but that's not important right now. What's important is..." Gabriel searched for the right words, and came up short.

Changing tack, he took a breath and started again.

"The closest word for it, in English, would be fledgling. That's what Castiel is to Raphael -  _*his*_  fledgling."

He saw understanding in Sam's expression, followed quickly by horror as he realised fully what Gabriel was getting at.

"Shit."

Yep, Gabriel thought, that about sums it up.

"So Raphael's guilt? It's going to be off the frigging charts if we can turn him. And Castiel, however forgiving he might be, will not be getting over that whole incident easily."

Something occurred to Gabriel suddenly.

"In fact, having Raphael around for him to confront..."

"He already confronted him, with Dean, back before we knew about you. It didn't go well, there was holy oil, threats...Cas called Raphael his little bitch - Dean didn't shut up about it for days after I got back, he was so proud of him."

Gabriel bit back a grin - Castiel was fast becoming his favourite brother.

Seriously.

To stand up to an Archangel when his own Grace was  _*already*_  on a downward spiral? Took guts.

To stand up to the Archangel who'd smote him, with weakened Grace? Serious guts.

To stand up to the Archangel who'd raised him  _*and*_  smote him, with weakened Grace?

Yup, definitely his  _*favourite*_  brother.

"While I admire Castiel's balls, that might not've been the smartest thing he's ever done. Regardless though, it doesn't matter. What I meant was that having Raphael as he should be, not twisted by whatever happened to him, around for Castiel to confront...that might go a long way towards Cas dealing with what happened. Because I can pretty much guarantee you that however okay he seems, he hasn't dealt with it."

Sam looked thoughtfully at him, and nodded slightly in reply.

"And you'll have to keep your brother on a leash, because Cas probably won't be up to dealing with him on top of the rest of it."

"I'll do my best - if it comes down to it you could always threaten the Impala," Sam offered with a grin.

Had he mentioned recently that Sam Winchester had the best ideas, ever?

He returned the grin and refilled their hot chocolate mugs - everything went better with copious amounts of chocolate, Gabriel had always found.

Okay, so the human had a better idea what he was getting into...now they could get back to the plan.

"And how do you propose we bring him around kiddo?"

Because there-in lay the tricky bit. It was all well and good deciding how to deal with him, but they couldn't start dealing until they had him to deal with.

"Well, I'm not quite sure on the details yet, but we know about the Cupids marks, so that's one thing, and then there's the fact that he thinks you're dead, and that from what I saw in that hospital room he'd never expect you to fight your brothers. The fact that you're here, and willingly involving yourself on our side...that might give him pause, right?"

"That's gotta be the most half-assed plan I've ever heard Sammy...but if we can figure out the details, it just might work. A good first step might be finding out what happened to him - though how we can do that, short of shadowing him constantly for however long it takes, I have no idea."

"Couldn't you do that? Shadow him, I mean?"

"For twenty years?"

"It might not take that long, although I guess the longer it takes the better it is for us, since it means the change is more recent...but yeah, for twenty years if need be. I mean, it's in the past, so it's not like time will be an issue, not for you anyway, since you don't age. I guess you'd have to leave me with Dean..."

"That's...not a bad idea actually."

And it wasn't, except for the bit where it meant Gabriel would have to spend decades watching his brothers who he hadn't seen in forever from the sidelines. So close, and so very out of reach.

And he'd have to do it alone, too. No Sam to cling to like he had in the hospital room.

He wondered briefly why he wasn't more embarrassed about that, but it didn't really matter. Sam hadn't minded, had even encouraged the clinging a bit he thought as he remembered Sam's comforting squeezes when things got...difficult.

Besides, it wouldn't be fair to drag the hunter any further than necessary into his family drama, the kid had enough of his own.

"So, I figure out what pushed Raph over the edge, and then we regroup and plot some more?"

"Sounds like an almost fully-assed plan to me."

Sam grinned as he spoke, nudging Gabriel's leg with his knee where they rested on the bed.

He almost didn't want to bring it up, given how things were going - Sam had smiled more in the last hour than in the last year, he was almost certain.

But until he did, it would sit there, the great big pink elephant in the room...

"Did you ever think that maybe they were allowed to get away with the Cupids? That there was a reason the prophecy ended up targeting you even though it broke all the rules?"

Sam was watching him warily now, hot chocolate resting on his leg, no trace of the smile from moments before.

"What do you mean?"

"We could have a look, but I'm pretty sure in this world humanity has - at the very least - two Archangels fighting for it. I wouldn't be surprised if, between Raphael and this world's me, they rounded up quite a little army...angelic and otherwise, given the contacts I can think of off the top of my head. And with all that, we still lose."

"That's not inspiring confidence, just in case you were wondering," Sam interrupted.

"But think about it...we lose over a year ago, comparing it to our reality. Which means that without Raphael, and without me so far, the Apocalypse in our reality has already been delayed by over a year."

Sam should have figured it out by now. He really should have. It was almost like he didn't  _*want*_  to be important or something...

"Our reality has Dean."

Gabriel gripped the blanket he sat on tightly - risking giving the kid brain damage by clipping him over the head really wouldn't help make him  _*less*_  stupid.

"There's a Dean here."

There was no way he was handing him the answer so that he could argue against it. The stupid stubborn human was going to admit this, if it took him all day.

He'd thought they'd been making progress, the kid had stepped back from 'immediately suicidal', and had even started planning for the future - okay, so he was planning to fight the apocalypse, but surely that was  _*more*_ significant than planning to go to a movie next week or something? Because if he didn't plan, there could quite possibly be no future, which would be the easy option all around...

His self-worth though...it needed serious work.

Sam sat there, thinking. Every so often, he'd open his mouth to speak, only to shut it again without making a sound.

He was arguing both sides in his head, Gabriel realised - and he couldn't come up with anything that he couldn't think of an answer for.

All Gabriel had to do was wait, and the kid would logic his idiocy into submission.

Gabriel waited.

"Fine, so I need to be born, because otherwise Dean won't have enough of a clue to know to fight."

Gabriel had self-control.

Gabriel was suddenly extremely proud of his self-control.

He hadn't hit the idiot, had he? There, see? Self-control.

Sam did look a bit confused at the pointy white hat with a large D on the front, but really? He'd needed an outlet.

With a sigh, the hat disappeared.

"I always... _*always*_...pegged you as the smart brother Sammy. I've seen realities where Dean fought alone - where you two stayed apart after you went your separate ways...Dean fighting alone? Lasts slightly longer than neither of you fighting. The fact is, of all the realities I've looked at - and believe me I've looked at a lot - none of them were still around now. You and Dean, fighting together, even with all of your screw-ups, have outlasted them all."

He didn't say 'so get that through your thick skull already!' out loud, but he figured it was implied strongly enough anyway.

"What about that future Zach showed Dean?"

"Fake."

"How do you know that?"

Sam's tone was challenging, but he wanted it to be true - Gabriel could feel the hope pouring off him.

"Because we can't see the future - free-will means it's never set, even the smallest change can alter things entirely..."

"...like the butterfly effect, you mean?" Sam cut in.

"Ugh, terrible movie! Really, terrible...but yeah, like the butterfly effect. Everything I've looked at has been in the past...I know none of those realities outlast yours because I've seen the end in them all. I tried looking for a reality still around, and guess what? We're it."

"As in,  _*it*_? The only one?"

"Well, there was the one where Dean already jumped Castiel's bones, but they were still in the exact same place you guys are strategically - apparently your brother sleeping with mine is not going to affect the outcome, or it hasn't so far anyway. Besides, from the looks I've seen on Dean and Cas when they thought no-one was looking, that difference may become non-existent pretty damn soon."

Gabriel smirked as Sam paled, and then looked faintly green at the mention of Dean and Castiel and sex all in the same sentence.

When he mentioned the looks though...that was when Sam's look turned a little knowing. So little Sammy *had* seen the fuck-me-now eyes his big brother had been throwing Gabriel's younger one.

"Okay, if I didn't just hallucinate you telling me our brothers are...or should be...together...then perhaps we can help them get a clue already? As much as I hate to even think about thinking about it, Dean might be easier to deal with if he's getting laid regularly."

Gabriel spluttered, laughter bursting out before he could stop it. So Sammy wanted to play matchmaker, did he? Gabriel chalked another mark in the 'positive sign' column, and grinned at the thought of the fun they could have, especially if either Dean or Castiel decided to be slow on the uptake.

"You've got a deal Sammy - much more of that staring and I'd have gone mad."

Gabriel took a breath, before reaching out and resting a hand on Sam's shoulder.

"Seriously though, all joking aside..." Gabriel paused to shoot Sam a glare at the incredulous look the hunter gave him, "...You and Dean, working together, fighting for each other - it's like the magic formula. It works, where nothing else has.  _*You*_  matter, Sammy. And maybe that's why Dad allowed them the cheat with the Cupid - maybe this had to happen now because you and your brother, together, are the only ones strong enough to do this. Neither of you is perfect, but you're strong enough not to quit, strong enough to come back from things that would destroy most everyone else who faced them. The world kinda needs you kid."

He broke off, and watched Sam closely.

Had he done enough? Had he said the right things?

Or had he made things worse? Had he just put even more pressure on the hunter in his attempt to make him realise his importance?

After what felt like an eternity, Sam raised his head to look at Gabriel.

"You're right," he murmured softly. "Maybe not about all of it, but you're right that I need to be there. Dean needs something to fight for, and even when I was screwing up it was me he fought for. I don't know if I'm strong enough..."

Gabriel went to interrupt, but was silenced by hands coming up to grip tightly to his free one - the other was still on Sam's shoulder, and the hunter didn't look like he planned on shaking it off anytime soon.

"No, let me finish! I  _*don't*_  know if I'm strong enough, but I can try to be. And maybe you can help me with that, since you're sticking around..."

Gabriel grinned.

"Well, since you asked so nicely..."

"We should probably get back before Dean starts worrying...can you..."

Gabriel cut in.

"I can drop you back off almost right after we left if you like?"

"Drop me off? But aren't you sticking around?"

"I've gotta go stalk my brother, remember? No time like the present...I guess I could turn up any time you like after I've done that, but you ought to clear the air with Dean in private, don't you think?"

Because really, Dean hated Gabriel, so seeing Sam all buddy-buddy with him would  _*not*_  go over well. He didn't want to make things any more difficult for Sam than they already would be.

"Unless you can get me back to before he called for Cas, we won't be alone."

"It'll be close, but I should be able to manage it actually..."

He wasn't sure how quickly Dean would be able to call for Castiel, but if he timed it so that they barely missed bumping into themselves, then surely that would be quicker than Dean could call out?

"Oh, right. Okay then, I uh...I guess I'll see you in twenty years?"

The fact that Sam gave him a sympathetic look, that he squeezed Gabriel's hands comfortingly...it most certainly didn't have any effect whatsoever on Gabriel. No sirree, it did not.

He didn't even want to think about how impossible these next few years were going to be, being close enough to almost touch, and not being able to say or do anything...that Sam realised, that he cared despite everything he was dealing with himself, it would help, Gabriel thought. It would make it not easier, but more bearable, perhaps.

With that thought he squeezed Sam's shoulder and hands lightly before releasing them.

"See you soon, Sammy."


	6. Epilogue

Dean had barely pieced together what had just happened, and was about to call Cas, when Sam reappeared suddenly.

His brother was perched on the edge of one of the beds, looking towards the headboard. What he was looking at Dean couldn't guess, but it wasn't really important either.

"Sammy? What the fuck...?"

Because that had been Gabriel, not two seconds ago, right?

Gabriel who had appeared, and said...oh fuck!...said 'wish granted' right after Sammy had wished that...

Dean felt like he was going to be sick.

What had happened? What had that insane fucking Archangel done?

He felt hands on his arms, and realised with a start that he was on the floor.

He was on the floor, and Sam... _ ****Sam****_...was leaning over him, clutching his arms tightly, calling his name, sounding quite panicked actually...

"Sam?" he managed, his voice sounding choked off even to his own ears. Sam's face blurred in front of him, and he tried to focus on what his brother...his brother who was  _*here*_ , whatever the fuck the Trickster had tried to do...was saying.

"...an...Dean? Shit, Dean you need to calm down and breathe, okay? I'm sorry - seriously, I'm sorry I ever said it, but you need to calm down, for me, please?"

Dean tried to take a deep breath...cringed when it shook...and tried again. His vision was still blurred - had he hit his head? Maybe, he didn't remember landing on the floor...he brought his hands up to try and clear his vision...they came away wet.

It took him a few seconds to realise what that meant.

It took him barely an instant after that to be furious about it. That stupid fucking asshole Archangel.

He resolutely ignored the part of him that really wanted to add his stupid-ass brother to that curse.

Sammy should've been safe to vent his feelings, however painful they might be to either him or Dean, without having to worry that some cowardly asshole with nothing better to do might make them reality.

That didn't matter right now though, because right now Sammy was here, and he was safe, and the few seconds he hadn't been might've been the absolute worst seconds of Dean's entire existence, including Hell, but he could deal with that later. Right now all he cared about was the relief that was threatening to explode from him, and the fact that Sam was within arm's reach.

Without another thought he launched himself at his brother, arms winding around to hug him with every ounce of strength he could dredge up.

Sam not dead totally merited the biggest chick-flick moment of his life, and one of the few he refused to feel any regret or embarrassment over.

SPN

Guilt hit Sam, hard, at Dean's reaction to his return.

His brother was...a mess...he was a terrified, relieved, panicked mess.

When Dean collapsed to the floor he rushed over, grabbing him by the arms.

When he saw the tears running down his brother's face, Sam felt it like a punch to the gut.

This was his fault. He'd done this to Dean.

Oh sure, it had been Gabriel that had taken him, but it had been his words that had hurt his brother. His stupid, selfish wish.

"Dean...Dean? Shit, Dean you need to calm down and breathe, okay? I'm sorry - seriously, I'm sorry I ever said it, but you need to calm down, for me, please?"

He was nearly knocked off his feet a moment later when Dean surged up suddenly, engulfing him in one of the most desperate hugs Sam had ever been part of.

He held on tightly in return, enjoying the rare opportunity to both comfort and be comforted by his big brother.

In that moment he knew that whatever else might happen, however the apocalypse ended, this was what made it worth it. This was what mattered, and this was what made him important, more than anything else he might do.

Family.

He was Dean's, and Dean was his - and that, he realised suddenly, was what Gabriel had been saying before he'd sent Sam back. That was why it had had to be them...was always going to have been them...because they made each other stronger.

He'd lost sight of that, become buried in his mistakes.

He'd forgotten what he was fighting to protect: not the whole world...just a little piece of it, the piece that was his family, his brother.

He sent a silent thank you to the Archangel.

He'd have to explain everything properly to Dean before Gabriel returned, but at least now they had a plan.

And for the first time in a long time, Sam had faith that it would all work out, and hope that they might succeed.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [It's a Hell of a Life [podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/691622) by [KD reads (KDHeart)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KDHeart/pseuds/KD%20reads)




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